How to Get FiredDamage Control in the Toughest Career SituationBy Doug Wesley Copyright 1988, 1996 All Rights Reserved. "We've come to a parting of the ways." "This will be your last day here." "I've decided to fire you today." No matter what the words, if you are getting fired, you're probably surprised at what is happening to you. Most people are. Even though the boss believes you ought to have known your job was in danger for some time. Staying shocked or surprised through the firing can make this terrible personal blow even more costly to you than it has to be. We're surprised when we're fired for two reasons. First, since most of us want to avoid ever being fired, if you knew it was going to happen today, you'd probably quit first. People who let a bad situation go on until they get fired are usually out of touch with the seriousness of the problem. The second reason is that a person who is fired goes through the same kinds of reactions as one who is told s/he has a terminal disease: denial, bargaining, anger, sadness/depression, and, finally, acceptance. Denial means that, since we don't want this to be happening, we do our best to not hear, not believe, not understand what's going on. Your denial is a manager's greatest advantage during a firing. While you are fighting reality and have lost your ability to think clearly, the boss knows you are going to end up fired, so naturally controls the situation. If the manager is skilled at this, you will probably be out the door before you fully comprehend what's happened. Once you accept that this person means to fire you, it is normal and predictable to move to the next stage of non-acceptance: bargaining. You desperately grope for ways to change the boss's mind, to get another chance at keeping your job. You attack, looking for weaknesses: in the reasons for termination, in the proof of your wrong-doing, in the process of the firing. Or you submit: promising to correct all your deficiencies and become an ideal employee. Either way, the bargaining is almost always futile. You lose your job. But you've also wasted the few minutes available to you to resolve some important issues before you leave. As soon as you realize you are being fired, it is vital that you get control of your mind and take care of business. Take a few breaths, accept the reality of the situation, and do some straight-forward negotiating with the boss before the termination session is over. Tomorrow you won't be working here. Today you must prepare for your future. The issues? What is your severance pay and can you negotiate more? Can you be left on payroll instead of (or in addition to) severance to cover any gap in employment while you find a new job? Exactly what reference will be given by this organization to prospective employers who call? Can you resign rather than being fired? Will the company offer you out-placement counseling? Will clerical services (telephone, copy machine, etc.) be made available for your job hunt? Why should the company that's firing you be willing to negotiate or even help you as you find another job? The biggest reason is that most bosses (and companies) believe that they are good to work for, that they care about people, and that they are reasonable. That's why firing is so hard for a boss and why so many bosses wait until you're absolutely sunk before resorting to termination. Since most managers would rather save a problem employee relationship than end it, many will accept your offer to turn the firing into a negotiated termination in which you both get some of what you want. The other reason companies may be willing to deal with employees at a termination is that they are skittish about legal problems; in most cases it's better to avoid a suit than to win one. If a company can reach a reasonable agreement with you that keeps you invested in a clean ending and gets you working elsewhere soon, they win and you do, too. But to get the chance to negotiate, you must be clear-headed enough to understand your boss's situation. Most managers have had no training (and little experience) in terminations. Many are no better prepared to fire you than you are to be fired. It is unrealistic to expect much grace or style from a manager conducting a firing. If you become threatening or demanding -- whether the boss is experienced or not -- you tend to push them into an aggressive, non-negotiating position; you even give them justification for punishing you. Remember that the boss wants this to go easy, not hard, if only for selfish reasons. You can promote yourself to a good negotiating position in a firing by accepting that you will be leaving and telling the boss you know it's over. Ask to clear up a few issues and come to some agreements during this talk. Tell the boss you want this to go as smoothly as possible. As much as you may be confused and hurt about what is happening now and what has gone on in the past, your most important challenge at this point is keeping this firing from damaging your future prospects for employment. It may even be worthwhile for you to offer to resign in lieu of being fired to keep an involuntary termination off your record. In many cases such a resignation (under duress) does not take away the rights of a fired person. You might want to keep up to date with the laws and current rulings in your state. Ask the boss who is firing you to make a commitment to give an honest and positive reference if called. Specifically ask that s/he refrain from saying anything negative about you to prospective employers, anything that might prevent you from being hired. Almost all American corporations have policies that forbid managers giving any reference (to protect themselves from defamation suits), but many managers will talk to a prospective employer and ramble on with their opinions about you and your work history. You protect yourself by getting this commitment from the boss, personally. Some managers have the authority to adjust the amount of severance pay and you may find you have some room to negotiate this. Using the term "bridge money" (to get you to the next job) sometimes throws a more positive light on the issue since the boss can see it as helping someone over a tough spot rather than rewarding a fired employee. Managers who don't have the authority to change the amount of severance may have the authority to extend your official termination date, allowing you to stay on the payroll for a few extra weeks after you're gone. With luck, you can get into a new job by then and have no gap on your resume. While money is important, severance pay is a shorter term issue than the help you need in finding a new job. Of greatest value is a positive (if limited) reference. Many companies offer secretarial help and office space for you to produce your resume and begin marketing yourself. Ask for this. It costs the company little or nothing, it allows them to be "good guys" in these uncomfortable circumstances, and they're more liable to give you a positive reference if you are still visible and maintaining a relationship with them. If the company firing you thinks of itself as well-managed and sophisticated, they may be willing to pay for out-placement services. Out-placement refers to everything from an employment service helping you with your resume and getting you into the job market to career counseling with an eye toward changing careers to support groups and psychological counseling. Ask for this. Don't sell short the need for psychological counseling. Ask the company to provide for such help. A mature person fired from a serious career position may take a year to completely heal from a firing, particularly if it's a first-time experience. Employment experts frequently tell people to expect to take one month per $10,000 in annual salary to get into a new position. Job hunting when you're out of work is hard on the ego. Getting fired can be about as traumatic psychologically as being in a bad car wreck can be physically. Expect to be hurt and expect to recover, but give yourself time. And, if at all possible, get the help of a therapist to take a good look in the mirror and put yourself back together. Why not do a little personal renovation so you are happier and make an even greater contribution in the next job? Obviously, it's best to avoid getting fired, but -- if you are in the middle of it and the end is inevitable -- keep your head and minimize the damage. Have a contingency plan for your career and begin exercising it during the firing. One of the most important things managers learn in preparing themselves to conduct a firing is to keep it professional, not personal: to avoid punitive and vindictive statements. The same lesson will serve you well if you ever get fired. It's difficult for most people who are being fired to fully understand why this is happening to them. Feeling hurt and angry is natural. Some of us want to strike back. But you can't hurt a boss who is firing you as much as you are being hurt. You can take responsibility for the situation you find yourself in and begin immediately working to build a platform for the future. Managers learn that firing is not an ending for them, but a beginning: in many cases, what they're really doing is replacing you and the bulk of their work in the replacement happens after you're gone. While getting fired is clearly the ending of your relationship with a company, in the context of your career, it forces you into a new beginning, too. You will survive it and you will work again. If you are like most, you'll be more valuable in your next position: you will be successful and wanted. Getting fired is crossing a bridge you didn't know was there. A bridge you don't necessarily want to cross. If the boss does the job right, you'll have no choice about whether to cross it. You do choose how gracefully you handle the separation and the passage. Just don't burn the bridge as you go.
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